“Oh, what a beautiful morning. Oh, what a beautiful day”, sang this 250-lb flushed-face, alcohol-reeking man who graced our ED one day. He was a happy drunk, winking at the nurses, and even trying to slap a female clerk’s behind as she passed. After we restrained him up, and pushed him into a private room, he stopped singing. He was silent, but not for long.
Out he came, walked out of the room, buck naked, with the stretcher still strapped on his back.
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What’s worse than a hypochondriac patient?
A gullible nurse.
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Superstitions in the ED:
1. Do not ever say the “Q” word.
2. Cardiac arrests come in threes.
3. Full Moon brings in patients.
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She looked haggard, walked like a Zombie, and snapped at everybody. Beware the Burned-out-nurse. Time for vacation again.
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We keep a running tab on what’s the weirdest thing we found in any body cavity. Such is the life of an ER nurse. We live for the simple pleasures.
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My non-medical friend asked, “How come when you nurses get together, you take so much pleasure in grossing each other out with talk about the hospital? Imagine talking about these fluids during meals. Yuck!”
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A friend dropped by one day when the ER was in gridlock. It was 12 noon and the EMS stretchers were lined up all the way down to the ER ambulance door. Patients were cursing, and telephones were ringing. Nurses and doctors rushed through the crowded corridors to respond to a Trauma Team call.
With such disbelief in her face, she gasped, “You must be crazy to work here.”
The staff around us chorused, “We all are!”.
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