Life’s ebb and flow can sometimes sweep you into just going through the motion without the conscious enjoyment of living. The stress of work and personal lives can often leech out happiness in one or both worlds.
“Plan your joy”, Michelle Obama said. We need to care for ourselves and to take the time to invigorate and refresh ourselves. There needs to be a good work-life balance in order to survive physically, mentally, and emotionally. Self-care is being mindful of our needs so we can in turn care for others.
I actively and deliberately plan my joy outside work. Whether planning the itinerary for a vacation or just enjoying a no-stress-and-waking-up-late-week-end, I seek those things that give me comfort and happiness. Good books, funny movies, soothing music, food trips around Queens with my son and family, and indulging in my joy of writing. My guilty pleasures are to explore the things that make me uniquely interesting. Even just planning for a quiet time on my sofa with the dog snoring at my feet. There is a thoughtful consideration to enjoy my days off work in order to recharge myself. Last night, I attended a spiritual Holy Supper worship service; I am blessed.
Because I spend a lot of my wake time at work, I also plan my joy when I’m working in my hospital. Unfortunately, I have seen some co-workers who allowed their work to drain the joy in their lives and they end up burned-out and bitter, sometimes because they felt trapped in a job that no longer sustains them and sometimes because they are afraid to spread their wings and find an environment that gives them joy. I am luckier than most because I truly have enjoyed my nursing journey.
The emergency department itself can be chaotic and stressful. This is the nature of my work; there are sad times when some of our patients die but there is joy when we are able to give someone a second chance at life. In all my years of nursing, from my first job as a staff nurse at a chronic care hospital to my current role as director of nursing in a busy emergency department in Manhattan, I always make a conscious effort to enjoy these moments of joy. Being joyful is not being artificial and unrealistically pollyannaish. I would rather think of it as being Optimistic, not just a Value of the Month. It is just knowing that we can reframe our minds to find meaning and purpose and joy however stressful the work environment is.
As a nursing leader, I feel the responsibility to help my nurses re-discover the joy in their work. There are financial constraints in staffing, but there is always something to do to empower our nurses to enjoy their work, even if sometimes the trials to both body and spirit can be challenging. I would like my staff to feel that they belong that they are appreciated and that they matter. One day, a nurse stopped me to complain about the boarders in the ED, those patients take out their frustrations on the nurses because they were waiting for inpatient beds. I gently asked her if she is asking to transfer to another unit. As I actually expected, she burst out laughing and said, “Hahaha, I am just venting. I love my patients and I love my co-workers, Thanks for listening.”.
I celebrate the work of every healthcare person in the hospital. A single person can make a difference. At our leadership retreat, the testimony of a trauma survivor touched my heart. She was a pedestrian-struck patient who sustained multiple fractures and injuries. She recounted very candidly her ordeal back to recovery and gave thoughtful and honest suggestions on how we can make things better for the next patient. She was thankful for the many healthcare workers who made a difference in her care. She spoke about simple acts of kindness like the ice cream from a dietary aide and the shampoo that the trauma coordinator helped her with. She remembered the good, the bad, and the ugly, but she earnestly spoke of the things that lifted her heart.
I live for the unexpected Thank You. One elderly man thanked me for staying with his anxious wife while he parked the car. It was just a simple gesture, just a few minutes of my time. To this couple, this meant that the wife’s anxiety did not unravel into a full-blown panic attack. The elderly man didn't know that just a few minutes ago, I came from assisting in a cardiac arrest of a young man who succumbed to an overdose. The “thank yous” are our emotional rewards, Two simple words that gave me joy that day.
The comedian Michael Jr. explained, “When you know your ‘why’ then your ‘what’ has more impact because you’re working towards your purpose.” The man in the video discovered his WHY and sang Amazing Grace with his heart.
The author Simon Sinek wrote that "it is only when you understand your “why” (or your purpose) that you’ll be more capable of pursuing the things that give you fulfillment". A purpose-driven life clears your pathway and makes sense of your actions, therefore it is what gives you the reason to keep on going, to start waking up in the morning, and to stop the snooze button on the alarm clock. This happens when you find joy in your life.
My joy is in the numerous little ways that validate me as a nurse. The ways we make a difference strengthen me amidst the sadness and chaos; a reminder of why I am a nurse. The reason WHY I stay and keep on going is that it is indeed a blessing to be part of a service profession that gives patients more than just a second chance.
Moments like these give us joy in our work. Nurses appreciate the simple pleasures- a thank you from a patient or a colleague, a life saved, recognition for a job well done, and a chuckle shared with co-workers. I do not have to reflect long and hard to remember the joys in my nursing life. It is when you are successful in maintaining the right balance in your life. This is my “WHY”, my 'IKIGAI" or "my reason for being".
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