This is it. End of shift last July 23, 2025. I. Am. Retired.
I waited one month to write this post. I took the time
to reflect on this moment, which I have been waiting for since I stepped on
American soil 42 years ago. I needed to savor the significance of this career milestone: being suddenly
freed from the rigors of waking up early, sitting in traffic, driving through
icy roads, and having to hold my tongue to maintain peace. I wanted
to sit in the space of reflection, to marinate the concept of retirement in my
mind, and to drink in the wonderment that finally the time has come to hang up
my lab coat.
Two years ago, my friends opted for early retirement, often
enticing me with pictures of their travels, but I was not ready to let go. My
work gave me a sense of purpose (aside from my family). My work friends filled
my head with compliments about my guidance and mentorship, and my students’
feedback was both satisfying and encouraging; they even urged me to post on
TikTok, especially when I used the analogy of dysfunctional romantic relationships to
teach heart blocks.
Frankly, the thought of retirement scared me. “How will I
spend my day? Would I lose my mind with boredom? Would my muscles weaken from
non-activity? Would my brain cells shrivel up for lack of mental stimulation?”
The epiphany that it was time for retirement sneaked up on
me. I was feeling energized after a vacation in the Philippines, and I realized
that I wanted to travel the world more than I ever did. My college classmates,
most of them retired, regaled me with their travel stories. For our 45th
anniversary since graduation in 1980, the BSN class of Arellano University
College of Nursing was preparing to have our reunion in Norway.
I was also mesmerized by some painting vlogs on Instagram.
My Facebook algorithms shifted to drawings and instructions on acrylics,
watercolor, and gouache mediums. I realized that I wanted to pursue my long-dormant artistic
side. My Renaissance area beckons me.
Retirement is a milestone, a gift, a blessing that is often
denied to others. It is taking control of my narrative and choosing how to live my life, when, what, and how at
my leisure.
Bookends of my professional life
In January 1983, I was young, naïve, and eager. Fresh from
my stint with the Philippine National Red Cross, I embarked on my nursing
career in New York City with stars in my eyes and dreams in my heart. I was
ready to conquer the nursing world.
I made a meme of my younger self as I stood on the grounds
of Roosevelt Island looking toward Manhattan, “Someday, you will retire. And
you will know that you were a bad-ass nurse who cared for her patients and her
colleagues.”
After working at Coler Memorial Hospital, I began my career
in Emergency Nursing at Elmhurst Hospital Center, Maimonides Medical Center,
Mount Sinai Morningside, and then St. John’s Hospital. I must be a glutton for
punishment, or maybe an adrenaline-junkie. Perhaps I needed to channel my
nervous energy into the high-stakes patient care. Life was never dull, never
placid, never predictable. The word “Quiet” jinxes everything, and whoever uttered
that word would be ostracized for the rest of the shift.
I have many stories to share, some of which were featured in
two memoirs that I published. What a journey it has been. I am humbled by the
opportunity to care for all the patients that I met and to work with strong,
gracious, and compassionate colleagues along the way.
Before I officially retired, the staff at St. John’s
Episcopal Hospital threw me a surprise party. The Nursing Professional
Development educators organized a celebration attended by nursing leadership
and staff from various units. It was my special "Lollipop moment". A
“lollipop moment” is when someone said something or did something that
fundamentally made your life better.
As I walked down the colorful path, each person handed me a
lollipop. In my classes, I have encouraged my students to remember the impact
they have on their patients and coworkers. I also encouraged them to reach out
to those special people who have made an impact on their lives, as introduced
by Drew Dudley in his TED Talk, by giving them lollipops.
Imagine getting my lollipops and receiving notes of thanks
from everyone. I love, love, love the Lollipop moment notes and the touching
words from everyone. Priceless!
https://www.facebook.com/100000202167830/videos/pcb.25096204806636245/1276051227389132
Thank you for the memories
I am grateful for the experiences that have shaped me into
the nurse I am today. I stumbled along the way, but through it all, I rose even
stronger. No longer a fumbling neophyte, I am a confident nurse who knows I
have succeeded on my terms. I don't define my success by other people's
definitions. I am proud of how I have metamorphosed from a novice to an expert,
mainly due to the lessons I have learned along the way.
As I rose from the ranks into leadership and educator
positions, I stood on the shoulders of those who came before me, and in turn, I
extended my support to those who came after me. As an ER nurse, I navigated the
psychological landmines by focusing on the emotional rewards, which
strengthened me, even through the pandemic's challenges. I found my joy in nursing by being mindful
and intentional in seeking those serotonin boosters and mood lifters. I fought
burnout by acknowledging the impact and influence of nurses in the lives of our
patients, even though we sometimes may not get the instant gratification and
appreciation from them.
I am an unapologetically sentimental person, which I
inherited from my father and passed on to my son. I treasure the memories and
appreciate the messages and remembrances from my colleagues and the other staff
nurses. Over the years, I have collected messages and emails from those who
acknowledged my contributions. In moments of self-doubt, they reinforced my
“Why”.
Please indulge me when I include some of these kind words:
“As a novice educator, you took me under your wings and
provided guidance, mentorship, and encouragement that I am so appreciative
of. Thank you for always providing a
listening ear and giving constructive feedback that continues to guide my
career.”
“I have been holding on to you tightly since I joined EHS,
and you have welcomed me with open arms. I am honored to say that I have
received guidance and support from THE Jocelyn Sese.”
“Your dedication to EHS has been instrumental in
elevating our nursing care and fostering a positive shift in our culture.
You've set a remarkable example for all nurse leaders to aspire to. Personally,
your guidance has been a great source of validation for me, ensuring I'm on the
right path.”
“I want you to know that I truly couldn’t have reached this milestone without the solid foundation I gained during our two weeks of didactic training with you. Today, I’m able to confidently speak the language of critical care, relying less on my usual hand gestures and more on solid clinical communication. I am living proof of the impact you’ve made on the next generation of nurses.”
Post-retirement Life
When someone asked me what the first thing I would do when I
retire, I answered without hesitation that I would attend the solo
concert of Jin of BTS in New Jersey. The Jin concert at the Prudential Center
in New Jersey on July 31 is my gift to myself for retirement. Jin was excellent; he
did not phone in his performance, but gave it his all, with bulging neck veins
and exposed deltoids, too. Mr. WorldWide Handsome winked, smirked sexily, and
blew us his trademark kiss. I am eagerly awaiting the reunion of the 7-member
supergroup BTS for a concert next year.
Retirement checklist:
- Attend our 45th class reunion with my BSN group in Norway and a cruise (from August 24 through September 6)
- Complete the “Art with Suzanne” online course, start painting, and explore the creative process
- Travel more and write more travelogues.
- Attend more music concerts and Broadway shows.
- Swimming lessons so that I can snorkel and dive on my next vacation
- Finish my BTS Lego set, continue crossword and jigsaw puzzles for my mental exercise
- Write my third book
- Write, write, write
- Read, read, read
- Consider other Social Media platforms and learn more about Artificial Intelligence tools.
The final curtain has closed. As Frank Sinatra sang, “Regrets, I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do and saw it through without exception. I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway. And more, much more than this, I did it my way”.
What a journey it has been. I am proud to be a bad-ass nurse.
I am ready to live my best encore. Bring it on.
