Saturday, February 26, 2011
As if medical stories are not weird enough: Harlequin syndrome, asparagus pee smell, brain surgery via the eye socket, jeggings and yeast infection, coffee-induced strangling, steak-caused positive drug result, 'hormone of love' or 'cuddle chemical', and "sphenopalatine ganglioneuralgia" or brain freeze.
And now, Botox to cure vaginismus? I guess smoothing wrinkles takes a whole new dimension,huh?
Truth is stranger than fiction, and it has never become truer than in the ED.
Patient: "An animal went into my ear, it's now in my brain."
Doctor: "What kind of animal will go inside your brain?"
Patient: "You're rude. My left brain does not want to talk to you."
Doctor: "Can you tell your right brain to talk to me?"
Patient: "I looked at the mirror and saw a blinking eye on my left butt."
The nurse thought the patient was crazy, but the patient insisted in being examined.
So the nurse and the intern took the patient to the room and looked at the patient's butt in question.
An eye blinked at them.
On a trip to South America, an insect had burrowed itself on the patient's butt.
(story by D. Dillon)
It's important to follow directions.
A patient bought an over-the-counter topical genital enhancement product from a neighborhood store. He did not follow directions. Instead of just rubbing the ointment, he ingested two doses in preparation for a date. He did not know that the Atropine effects would make him very, very sick.
He died the day after.
Toxic Sock Syndrome- when your patient's socks had melted into the skin, and the smell travels all the way to the hospital lobby. The patient is oblivious to the suffering around him. The staff tries to hold their breaths and waits anxiously for their shift to end.
Toxic Tampon syndrome- when a first-time user thought the tampon will absorb on its own.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Expect the unexpected. Brace yourself for a day of wonderment and what-the-hecks... of jaw-dropping and head-scratching incidents that defy explanations. You think you've seen it all?
Surprises abound in this place. And we love them. Not a 9-5 job where you can pretty much expect how you'll spend your day.
Huh, Welcome to our Emergency Department.
Patient: "I swear I'm not pregnant. Shouldn't be. I'm on the pill. But my belly hurts soooooo much!"
Nurse: "Let me just put you on the stretcher."
Minutes later, the patient screams, the nurse lifts up the sheet, and finds a baby on the stretcher.
Nurse: "Miss, can you please give me some urine for a pregnancy test?"
Patient: (Giggles) "You're so kind. I'm really a man. "
Nurse: "Your son just went to x-ray, ma'am".
Woman: (outraged) "Excuse me, that's my husband."
SURPRISE!!! (awkward, too)
Undressing a homeless patient then finding wads of twenty-dollar bills tucked away in his underwear. Total amount = $10,000.
Foreign body in rectum, all types, all sizes.
December blizzard 2010... EMS brought a patient on a sled.
Patients help each other. An intoxicated patient was carried into the ER on a grocery cart by a similarly-ETOH intox friend.
The nurse heard grunting from the other cubicle. Thinking "Molly" (one of our ER alcoholic regulars) was in pain, she drew the curtain. Molly and her boyfriend were in a compromising situation. So much for privacy.